Thursday, August 15, 2019

Wrong Numbers

Telephone phobia (telephonophobiatelephobia) is reluctance or fear of making or taking phone calls, literally, "fear of telephone".Telephone phobia is also considered to be a type of social phobia or social anxiety problem. It is often compared to glossophobia, in that both require engaging with an audience to a certain extent, followed by the fear of being criticized, judged or made a fool of.
The fear of telephones can range from the action or thought of answering and receiving calls to the actual ringing produced by the telephone. The ringing sound can generate a string of anxieties, characterized by thoughts associated with having to speak, perform and converse. Many of those suffering from this phobia may perceive the other end as threatening or intimidating, or may worry about finding an appropriate time to call, in fear of being a nuisance.

Another source of anxiety comes from the lack of body language, which no longer becomes available through the telephone and results in the individual losing their sense of control. Past experiences, such as overhearing something traumatic or an unpleasant and angry call, may also play a part in creating fear. Sufferers typically report fear that they would fail to respond appropriately in a telephone conversation, and fear finding nothing to say, which would end in embarrassing silence, stammering, or stuttering.The associated avoidance behavior includes asking others (e.g. relatives at home) to take their phone calls and exclusive use of answering machines.
Another reason is the sufferers may believe that people who call them bear bad or upsetting news, or that the person on the other end may be a prank caller.
Of course, another explanation for Telephobia could be that we horror fans know that when the phone rings on a dark night when you're all alone...ain't no good news comin' down that line.

Horror's Scariest Phone Calls!

Black Christmas, 1974
Oh, were you being incredibly wrong and thinking that When A Stranger Calls was the first phone horror flick? Nope, sorry Wrongy WrongFace - Black Christmas got there first, a full five years before Stranger was made. 
I'm not sure which is more upsetting: the first phone call, in which "The Moaner" (as the girls of the sorority house have nicknamed him) squeals, grunts, giggles, screams and demands that the girls allow him to "lick their pretty piggy cunts" or one of the final phone calls, in which Mr. Moaner (who has now also been revealed to be Mr. Serial Killer as well) shrieks at a pregnant Olivia Hussey that her decision to have an abortion is "just like having a wart removed." Considering this was 1974, the vulgarity on display here is - and remains - genuinely chilling and shocking. And all of this was made possible by the jolly guy who brought us A Christmas Story just ten years later.

When A Stranger Calls, 1979

Okay, quitcher bitchin', here it is...the penultimate Freaky Phone Call Flick. Pretty little thirty two year old teenager Jill scores a job babysitting for a doctor's kids. The children are already asleep and Jilly has the whole house to herself. W00t! Time to study! Wait, what? Wow, what a nerd. Oh sure, she gives her slutty friend a call only to find out that Skanky VonSlutPants has stolen her boyfriend and thus promptly loses her interest in wanton socializing. She doesn't even peek into the medicine cabinets for Valiums or raid the fridge or check to see if Doc has subscriptions to the Spice channel. Nope, just sits there and does her homework.  That is, until British serial killer Duncan starts calling, asking her why she's neglecting her duties as a babysitter and not venturing upstairs to check on the children. After all, he's just torn them both apart with his bare hands, ripping them open like sleeping bags and playing tinker toys with their organs. How dare she not admire his work?


A Nightmare On Elm Street, 1984

Oh boy. Remember that one creepy janitor in your grammar/junior/high school? The one that always smelled like old sandwiches and had dark, oily, questionable stains on his trousers? The one who would always stop whatever he was doing and stare at you without blinking as you walked by? Imagine him slipping his tongue into your mouth, a tongue that tastes like rotten eggs and sour milk and has a texture not unlike pork gristle. Oooo yeah, baby. Hot stuff. The only thing about this movie that I found utterly unbelievable was the fact that Nancy did not immediately run to the bathroom, throw up, reach for a toothbrush, a bottle of Ajax, some bleach and a blowtorch. There aren't enough starlight mints in the world to clean that taste out of your mouth. 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, 1986
Supercool Texas cowgirl and hip rock DJ Stretch doesn't have time for immature little teenage goo goo mucks prank calling her on the air...until their final call erupts in a volcanic shitstorm of horrified screams and the sharp roar of a chainsaw. Stretch, knowing she's just heard a murder, can't get the phone call out of her head. Shit, who could? Luckily, she records it. Stubbornly, she plays it on the air, hoping to catch the killers. Unfortunately, the killers hear it first and show up at the radio station. 



First you watch the tape, then you get the call. It's Sadako, the soggy corpse girl down in the well, calling to confirm your appointment to die in seven days time. Not that she actually tells you straight out, not in so many words. Instead, you get a disturbing chorus of high pitched sounds, like nails on sheet metal, razors on a chalkboard, a rusty screw being yanked out of a decades old rust bucket with a high speed drill. By the time your tympanic membranes have recovered from the shock, your face is imploding from the force of Sadako's rage, wrenching your jaw aside to sag grotesquely and leaving your audience behind to dread the inevitable American remake and all of its abysmal sequels.

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